My Sobriety

4 Years Sober

February 16, 2024- Today marks 4 years since I had my last drink or drug. Holy moly that’s insane to me – a high school career! Life is good today. I am not going to sugar coat it and say my life is perfect because I am sober, but let me tell you it is a hell of a lot better than when I had a drink in my hand. The cool thing is when life gets rough, I am provided a toolkit today that helps me solve problems and now things just happen to fall into place. I am able review my character defects and work on them daily. Patience is one I work on regularly. With two kids (5 and 2), my patience is tested every single day. I thank my Higher Power for guiding me through all of this with grace .

Year Four has been crazy busy! I have delved deep into health and fitness – doing tons of research on nutrition and strength training. It is crazy to think when I was drinking, I was so unhealthy- on the verge of major liver issues. Now in sobriety, I am an advocate for healthy lifestyles. It is so cool, because now, I have discovered what I want to do when I grow up (haha!) – that is to help people achieve their health and fitness goals and educate my peers how to live a long, healthy life. So cool! on the other hand, the kids are nuts, but so fun! Family life has really been a pinnacle of sobriety- to be able to be present and live in the moment with my wonderful family is the best gift!

I have so much to be grateful for today: my family, friends, health, and the list goes on. It is so nice to finally have the feeling of meaningful life and to have a sense of purpose. Sobriety has given me that. I am able to love myself for who I am and embrace the ups and downs that come along the way. The growth that I have endured in this journey is remarkable. Everybody has their own path in life and this is mine. I believe in “everything happens for a reason”. I was meant to be an alcoholic and that’s okay, because I am living the best version of myself today and I am proud of who I am. I could not say the 4+ years ago. The best part is- I will continue to grow one day at a time.

3 Years Sober

February 16, 2023- I am three years sober today! Wow, if someone would have told me 10 years ago I would be one of those sober people, I would have told them cha-yeah right!! Those people have no fun. How do you cope with all the crap in your life? How do you socialize? How do you have fun? What do you do on holidays? What do you do on vacation? The list goes on… I used to use drinking to satisfy all of the above and I thought it was a cure all, but it turns out my Buddy Booze did not have the best intentions for me. In the end of my drinking days I was sick, unhealthy and miserable. I am so lucky I found a way out when I did! Instead of the boring, pointless sober life I expected; my life is so full and meaningful today. I am so grateful for this journey and all of the work it has taken to get here.

What does Year 3 look like for me? Life definitely got Lifey in Year Three. Years One and Two were too good to be true. I was riding the “pink cloud” if you will. I was just so happy, I couldn’t believe it was possible to be sober and be THIS happy. Don’t get me wrong, life couldn’t be better right now; but, reality has set in. Bills still have to be paid, kids are insane and test your patience, people/dogs die and tough situations need to be dealt with on a daily basis. With all this being said, it is so relieving to know I don’t HAVE to pick up a drink anymore like I used to, to cope with these situations. I used to be a prisoner to alcohol and now I can live a life of freedom. Now, that’s incredible!

Sobriety has given me my life back. I am able to focus on being the best mom and wife I can possibly be (which is so important to me- alcohol deprived me of this). I also set goals today and achieve them. This year I started my own Virtual Assistant business, got Certified as a Personal Trainer through NASM and I am studying to be a Nutrition Coach through NASM as well. These would all have just been dreams and unattainable goals if I were where I was 3+ years ago. I am so very grateful for each and every day I wake up in the morning to be able to take on this crazy, amazing life. This would all not be possible if it weren’t for my amazing husband, kids, family and friends. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

2 Years Sober

February 16, 2022- I am two years sober today! Two years ago today I was back East in Connecticut, staying with my Aunt (my mentor), waiting for a bed at Highwatch Recovery Center. I was in a bad place, rock bottom if you will. My daughter was just about to be two and I had just had a miscarriage at six weeks in January 2020, which set me over the edge. I had always been a heavy drinker, but it had reached a point of no return. I was not able to drink normally anymore. My husband had had enough and at this point I knew it was time to get professional help. I tried to quit drinking by myself multiple times and it did not work, which was so weird to me because I always considered myself a strong and capable person. I come from an Irish family where you push down your feelings and always show your strength – weakness is not an option. After attending the 21 day program at Highwatch Recovery Center, I had gained so much strength by showing vulnerability. I was able to be honest with myself and others about where I was in life. I reflected on my weaknesses and became grateful for all of my experiences, both good and bad.

Today I am comfortable in my own skin. I can look myself in the mirror and be proud of who I am. This is something I have never felt before. I am not against drinking or people that drink… most of my friends drink, it is just not for me anymore. I am happy to say I have switched my addiction to fitness. I put down the bottle and picked up running and fitness training. I now switch out my wine o’clock with soda waters and a sunset run with my kids. This is the way my life was supposed to turn out. I am so grateful for the journey that led me here. This second year of sobriety has been very eventful… I got married to the love of my life of 13 years and we had our second child, a baby boy. I am now able to be the best version of myself and be the best mother, wife, friend, daughter, sister, niece, cousin that I can be! Thank you sobriety!! Thank you HP!!! … and thank you to everyone that has trudged this road with me and supported me every step of the way.

I hope this post inspires you to love yourself. Your experiences, good and bad, are what make you unique and worth loving!